YANA: YOU ARE NEEDED AGAIN
by Specky Mutant
Summary: Rose thought she was safe with The Doctor… the one he gave her. But what happens when instead of making him better – he gets worse. When The Doctor receives a message from Rose his worst fears are turned into reality. Now The Doctor is racing against time


Hey everyone,

This is my first/second story.

Hope you like it and please read and review.

Cheers,

Tansy

**YANA: YOU ARE NEEDED AGAIN**

**CHAPTER ONE: ALONE**

**DOCTOR'S POV**

I stood there staring at myself yet it wasn't a mirror. I was talking to myself and just like in a story in second person I was answering myself back. I found myself being jealous of a man, well my other self because he could have the one thing that I couldn't. I looked at her, she was beautiful; blonde hair and blue eyes. The most beautiful eyes in the world – but I had hurt her and the pain showed in her eyes… she was crushed and I had been the one to crush her… and I hated myself for that. She stepped forward and tried to touch me, although the sensation seemed para-normal I pulled my arms around her, she cried into my shoulder… I rested my hand on the small of her back as she leant up and her lips lightly pressed on my cheek.

_FLASHBACK_

"Why can't I stay with you?" she said.

"You're still trapped in the parallel universe… I can't." I said, sniffing back tears.

"But… he?" she said turning to my shadow.

"He is my human clone." I explained, "He is me with one less heart." I finished.

"Doctor, you need me." She said.

It was true, I did need her but I couldn't have her. If I couldn't have her then I wanted my other me to have her. I looked behind her and watched him smile.

"You made me better, now you can do the same for him." I said.

"But he's not you." She said looking at me with torn eyes.

"He needs you, that's very me." I said, with that she looked behind her; he was smiling at her… he took a step closer.

"I've only got one life Rose Tyler, and I could spend it with you." He said.

_END FLASHBACK_

I watched in pain as she walked over to him and placed her hand on the side of his face, she pulled him into her embrace and I couldn't take it anymore… I turned away and walked back into the TARDIS. It was hard enough not having the guts to tell her the words Rose needed to hear, harder to see her with another man. I turned the TARDIS on and set it so it just sat in the time vortex. I slid down the side of the console so I was sitting above the attic of the TARDIS, I sighed...

I try to hold my emotions back – but sometimes when I am alone, I let the grief take over me and weep. It may not be long, it may be silent but no matter how strong I seem at times I still weep.

Travelling through the time vortex, alone once more I felt the sadness consume me like the Vashta Nerada did to those space travellers who Donna and I met in The Library. The conpanions that I have had with me while in my tenth regeneration was known to be light hearted, easy-going and at times witty knew that I sometimes used that as a mask to hide my inner emotions.

_FLASHBACK_

"Is I'm alright Timelord code for not alright at all?" Donna asked.

"No, why?" I asked.

"Cause I'm alright too." She answered.

_END FLASHBACK_

Since however I am now alone, with only the hum of The TARDIS in the background I was free to bare my soul whenever I felt like it, knowing that she would never speak a word of what I say, feel or act. Those words that the Darlek Cann said to me, however true, I would never let him know when he was even close to breaking me.

I was scared that if Rose saw me for who I really was that she'd run… she did run once, however to my surprise it was into my arms that she did run. Over the time that I had known her, I myself; had realised she was different. She had this energy and light about her, that glowed in the night sky.

I pulled my head into my knees as I wept harder. I didn't want to, however there was no denying what loss I had suffered by letting Rose go – even if it was to an earlier version of me – before we met.

You see Rose was different because out of all the people that travelled with me there was something that stayed with me after she left. Although some of my conpanions had fallen for me, expressed to them that I was not interested… however with Rose… she loved me, that was nothing new, what was different was that I loved her back. I hate myself for never having the guts to say the words she needed to hear back; all I managed to choke out was 'I know.' How stupid was I? I wasn't even human yet I acted like an human – an idiot.

I felt so sad that I would sacrifice my 903 years in this universe to spend more then two of them with Rose. She said she needed me… it was true that he needed her and that was very me… but being me was what I had put Rose through enough – she needed a stable guy, one who didn't go flying all over the universe and risked his life to save man and alien kind.

I needed her. Rose kept me saine. She kept me alien…the version of keeping someone human for a human. She had the power to stop me from killing or thinking of torturing the alien. Although Donna never knew it she said one of the most important things to me; which when put in the context of Rose was true.

_FLASHBACK_

"I think you need someone to stop you… Doctor." Donna said.

_END FLASHBACK_

Pulling myself together I pulled myself up and stood up holding onto the counsel which was flicking with lights and the odd sound… nothing unusual. She hummed silently and constantly; only stirring when I required a reply from her, like approval I guess. I looked around the TARDIS; walking around the console and over to the door, I rested my hand on the door, then I walked back to where I laid the jacket that Janis Joplin gave me… I rested on the branches that wound their way around the TARDIS.

The TARDIS, my one true companion that had stuck by me always… my home… I was part of her and she was part of me. For as long as I can remember she had been in a shape of the phone box… I had broken the chameleon circuit and as a cause of that she stayed in the shape of the blue box.

Loosing her on that fateful day tore my hearts. _'I could save the world but loose you.'_ Were my words to her. In the end I did loose Rose, but she didn't give up without a fight. She held onto the rail yet that wasn't enough. With the wind howling I watched as her fingers started slipping and ultimately I watched her vanish into the vortex.

Honestly after bidding farewell to the others and returning Donna back to her family. I think it's best if I go on alone for a while – might be the best thing for the both of us. By both I mean me and any future conpanions that may happen to collide with myself or the TARDIS.

I didn't understand humans – I don't think I ever will; however I do understand the need for sentimental things, physical things that they can hold value too. I also know now the meaning of words, and how much they mean to humans when you say them to a person; I learnt this lesson the hard way.


End file.
